The ruiner is an infector

Lovely moments never last that long and you know it, don’t you. Once it’s over you light your cigarette. Well, at least you know when it’s over. A cigarette to prepare you for the worst day and another when you’re through it. That’s what life is like at the moment. Every now and then you go dancing, but it just doesn’t seem to be the same anymore. People’s taste of music has changed vehemently. They rarely play your favourite songs now. So what’s left? Your room and your computer, oh yes! For you to do whatever you want to do and listen to what you want. You don’t sign in to chat to people, because you don’t feel like it. Some resent you for doing that, so what. And your mobile’s off and the other’s unplugged. FUCKING RESENT ME THEN! You need to learn to be strong, hard and stress resistent, but you’re trying to do everything without being any of those. That’s no good. Not at all. You think it’s a good way to learn by crushing yourself into trouble, but in the end it just turns out worse than the trouble itself. At least you’re not the only one who thinks the older you get, the more frightened you become. Then suddenly you remember having felt something like that as a child and the same kind of fear re-occurs. That’s the moment where you want to shoot yourself in the fucking face.

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