hey foon lei (shubidoo)

So the sun’s not out today. A shame really, because I would’ve gone outside for a nice smoke. One bad thing about being at home is that you can’t help sitting in front of the TV. Just because you own one. It wasn’t like that in England. I used to spend most of my time reading or writing in the library. There was just nothing else better to do. I never used to be bored; I didn’t even know what it meant to be bored. I always had something to do. I used to be busy doing a lot of things.

Well, today’s going to be the day where I’m going to stop taking those tablets. You want to know the reason? Ha, it’s because they are the cause of me putting on weight easily. It can’t be true that you put on weight when only eating two meals a day. I’ve already cut out on the snacks, so what else could be the reason why I don’t lose weight? I run regularly, which makes me feel good about myself, but I’m sort of losing interest. Still running has become a habit. I can’t have more than two days without running.

Why am I listening to cheesy love songs… And why am I so close to crying because of them? Am I really so moved…I should be the messenger of love. I keep telling everyone that they will find the one and I know they will. And most of them have already found that someone, which makes me smile, but nevertheless, I think I should quit listening to love songs because they make you feel lonely. But if the songs are lonely themselves, you then feel you and the song would make a good couple.

I was talking to my work colleague yesterday. I don’t think she actually likes me, she usually doesn’t talk to me much, but yesterday she was being very curious about me and asked whether I had a boyfriend. I think she was more trying to find out about me for somebody. I’m scared of things like this. Usually I’d back off immediately. Anyways, I said I was going to go back to England and she went “Oh no!” Well, why should she care…

Why am I singing “Shubidu uu…shubidu…” Dreaming again I suppose. Oh well, I like giggling like an anime girl. I am not giggling now, but I know that there always is a reason to giggle. This is as optimistic as I can get. Maybe the love songs do help…the lonely love songs I mean.

It feels weird. I feel like I’m in love with someone or something out there. Someone/something that I’ve never met and don’t even know of. I had the same feeling before years ago and it felt good. Just the fact that there is someone or something for all of us.

Shubidoo ooh

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