Elephants on acid

Back from the Hurricane Festival, which I claim to be my last festival ever, but I don’t often believe what I say to myself anyway. Sometimes you shouldn’t either. Here I again feel challenged by the future. Well, however, I wonder why I make such an effort for people whom don’t give a shit about me. Suffering rain, cold, noisy drunk arseholes that piss outside your tent! Anyways, those people supported me with the music they make. So I let them off. Just not sure whether I’m ready to pull the same thing through again. Being around extreme party animals is a big issue for me. I get scared when they scream and when the alcohol begins to talk through them. What I find sad is the fact that they think they are funny, they think they are causing good moods. They just don’t know how ridiculous they are. Ordinary people. Boring.

Three days no proper sleep. I was close to hallucinating. Severe tiredness is like being on drugs. Feels funny. I want to see what happens if I don’t sleep for like 4 days (with no naps in between). There was a psycho woman in late 19th century who tried to keep her puppies awake for almost five days. They died. If this had interested her so much, why didn’t she try it on herself? There was actually someone in the 70s who managed 266,5 hours without sleep. So I think 5 days without sleep would kill me instantly. I can’t imagine why that person didn’t even faint during that experiment. I mean you cannot force your body to anything. If your body is tired, it’s tired. And it would force you to fall asleep by making you unconscious, wouldn’t it?

I’m getting more interested in experiments. What’s wrong with trying this and that? See how far you can go. I know my limits, but not all of them, not all interest me much. Only those who seem extraordinary.

I need the book “Saturday” by Ian McEwan. If I only could concentrate on reading nowadays. It used to be three books a week and now it’s one every two months.

I have fallen in love with Saturn. Mainly with what this planet symbolises. It’s the planet of my favourite God from the Greek Mythology – Cronos. Yes, the father of Zeus, the one who ate his children, the father-castrator. He is the God of Harvest and the origin of the Grim Reaper. He carries the sickle of death and destruction. My connection to Saturn? I was born on a Saturday. Never knew that the number 6 had a meaning in my life. 6 and 9 (life path number). 6 and 9 form the symbol of the astrological Cancer sign. Why is this freaking me out so much? I should stop getting myself paranoid like that.

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