All I wanted

Right this very moment it is 4:55am. I have a big head ache and I’m unable to sleep. Started hugging myself during Let’s make a night to remember in bed and thought it might be a better idea to get out of bed again and start writing. Yes, otherwise I’d have gone a bit further. This dude is driving me out of my mind. I haven’t changed that much when it comes to stupid infatuations. I’ve been this way since I was eleven. I had written many many love stories when I was a kid. Proabably over twenty. Each story was over 60 pages long. It depended on how mad my current crush was. The funny thing about it was that I considered those as novels. Cute, huh? They were mostly hand written and then typed. I wrote romantic shit, sentimental shit, sad shit. I considered that as my only way to escape reality. The characters I created were more of less my imaginary friends.

A few years later I realised how cheesy I was and tried to get more serious. I startd to read Nicholas Sparks and when I compared my love stories to his, I realised that mine weren’t as good. Then my stories became shorter. Rather than calling them “novels” I simply called them “short stories”, going up to 5000 words. However, stupid infatuations were needed, in order to write anything. To name a few infatuations, there were Rivers Cuomo, Steve Jones and Bryan Adams. The short stories were written between 1999 and 2000. The other week I rewrote the Bryan Adams one titled All I wanted. And no you won’t ever get to read that. If you want to read my short stories, please visit www.terrible-lies.com and click on Fiction in the right column. You only may read stuff I wrote from 2004 onwards. If you’d like to read more, I’ll be delighted to send you a few. Well, All I wanted was a story that I was proud of. Nonetheless, I’m happy to post a paragraph:

>> I had Jazz music running in the background, which created a nice, soothing atmosphere in my workshop (which was also my bedroom). I was taking pictures constantly without taking any breaks. She got used to it in the meantime and all of a sudden I recognized a sign of seduction in her eyes. Now she couldn’t take her eyes off the camera, as if she was after the man behind it. She was excellent and genuine; she didn’t pretend to be sad or happy. Instead she seized this moment to be vain and alluring. And she was brilliant at it. <<

If you know the video of Let’s make a night to remember then you know what had inspired me to write that story. Dear me, that video was shot in 1996. I was 12. I wonder what I had felt exactly back then.

No more sex music tonight.

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