Shimmer

I was watching the reflection of the water shimmering on the wooden fence. The movements signal inconsistency and unpredictability, which are a sheer symptom of life’s mental instability. And yet we have to accept it the way it is.
Whenever I hear drunken laughs and shouts, I tend to turn away, because they are not sober laughs and shouts, therefore I’m unable to understand.
There is nowhere to escape to. Life is on the kitchen table, on a tree or in the bin – an apple that ants and other insects feast on, too.

What is an apple? Yes, something sweet and juicy. You eat it when it’s ripe (ants and other insects don’t care about its development) and if you don’t, it will rot and dry out. I haven’t heard anything simpler than this and yet this tragic story makes me feel hungry for apple pie/Apfelstrudel.
I would shed tears of bliss if I could eat it right here and now.

I have been sleeping with my desk lamp on recently. I’ve again heard too many scary stories based on hypnagogia and I can’t help believing that I will experience another one.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do tonight and how far my paranoia will drive me into. If I only wasn’t alone tonight, but what am I saying? Everyone would fall asleep within a wink anyway and leave me alone in the dark with no shimmer. You only see the shimmer when there is no one else.

I almost tried adding some yoghurt to my tomato soup and decided against it. Whenever I have soup now, I will think of yoghurt and that bloke from London Particular who won’t believe that I am not vegan. I refused having butter on my bread and yoghurt in my soup. Butter = I’m on a diet, okay. Yoghurt+soup= that’s just wrong.
I don’t give a damn about veganism. Next time I go there I will order something with cheese on top.

Maybe all this is wannabe-fiction anyway used to denounce life’s infinite emptiness which often shimmers on your bedroom wall, but you cannot fathom those lights. You begin to laugh at your stupidity, as you realise that their purpose of existence is only for you to enjoy the moment; to absorb the beauty with the eye of your mind. You laugh again and this time because you have come up with a joke. Write it down and tell others, before it stagnates in oblivion. Enhance the punch line and pray they will all laugh to death. One way to feed das Loch.

The shimmer is all we’re ever left with.
Lights off.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *