Never trust a hippie

To Sid: Oh thou beautiful May – month of the Taurus, month of cleansing, purification and new commencements! No more self-extinguishing through denial and rejection but through blind self-destruction – happy birthday, Sid Vicious.

About Rotten: This is one of those days where I like to recall my past from twelve years ago; my teenage crush on John Lydon after watching the ‘Anarchy in the UK’ video on Viva2. The age of revolt began.
I remember buying my first Sex Pistols record ‘Kiss This’ without realising that it was the Best of record. It included all the songs that were on ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’, also Sid’s cover and Jonesy’s and Cookie’s song ‘Silly Thing’. I didn’t get into it on the spot and throughout listening I was hoping to stumble on a slow song – mind you I didn’t know what punk was all about back then – all I knew was Green Day and Offspring, and they did slow songs.
Well, my love for Johnny grew and became everlasting ever since I’d finished reading ‘No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs’. I was fifteen when I ordered that book in a bookstore, and I remember the outrageous expression on the sales assistant’s  face when he saw the title. I had no idea where my boost of confidence came all of a sudden. A whirlwind had blown away all my teenage fears and I didn’t give a toss about anything any longer. Ironically that was how I made my first proper friends in school and I was no longer standing on my own in the schoolyard. I started cutting holes in my clothes and used safety pins to fasten them back together. I drew the signs of Anarchy and ‘Nazis raus!’ everywhere – on my bags, clothes, bedroom walls and exercise books, quoting the Pistols, especially Johnny.
After reading his autobiography I converted from anarchy to individuality, finally understanding the point of it all. Henceforth I knew I had somewhere to go in my life.
The notion of being me became more vital than anything else I had ever known, and more significantly, I began to think for myself. So the Pistols – Johnny was the catalyst of my change of personality by transfiguring my ego from frail to resolute. Hell knows what would have become of me otherwise.
My timidity used to overshadow my entire being with painful pressure and inexplicable loathe. Everything that took place inside was almost monstrous, but then I saw the Pistols on TV and I found what I had been looking for since Hamlet.
The value of honesty was next.
I went over the top like a moral absolutist. I wouldn’t lie to protect, I wouldn’t lie to be nice and I wouldn’t lie in order not to hurt (Alceste played a big role here, too). Though, a change of attitude occurred when I did the worst mistake of my life, which was hurting my mother.
I never apologised – not even after twelve years. It is not a common thing to say sorry in a Chinese community – no matter if family issues, political turmoil or what. Maybe we are too proud or we simply don’t like reminders. But Chinese people have the tendency to hold a grudge against others, even if it’s just the stealing of a chocolate bar.
I maintained my values nonetheless. What I’ve learnt is when not to speak.
One of the many reasons why I choose to be quiet.

To Steve & Paul: Ah thou kleptomaniac, Jonesy – my second favourite Pistol, my former favourite guitarist, voice of a gentleman! Memories of masturbation stories with plenty of imagination about you and Cookie singing the cutest hook-up line ‘How far can you spit?’

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