VALIS

From nothing you can become everything. If you look at where we are now, we are about to become everything and some forces out there will not like it.
This might sound very sci-fi, but I believe in it, for I am in a state where I cannot think clearly or speak anything of significance, not to mention, create anything coherent. My creative mind is gone. I hope it’s only temporary, as otherwise there won’t be much of me left.

Like last year, the start of New Year always leaves a very bad taste in my mouth and triggers nausea. The only creature I spoke to in the last two days was a dazed ladybird crawling on my Philip K. Dick book. Everybody has had a ladybird on his finger, right? And as you may know, they tend to fly from the tip of your finger. But when the ladybird reached the edge of my VALIS book, it spread its wings and tried, but it fell backwards down onto my table. It broke my heart.
I felt too guilty to say that I’d accidentally stepped on some of its siblings. So I don’t know what its quest may now be. But its lover is still in the corner of my ceiling. Probably dead.

I don’t know whether I should show him the way. If he believes there is still a reason to fly or crawl for, it will do it.

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