Sheet lightening

I’m on the floor, hands shaking, chest tightening. I’m gasping for air in a vacuum of my own senses.

A cold sweat grips, a watery lens distorts my vision.

An arctic shiver is eating its way through my limbs. I pull my duvet down and cover my entire body, knees pressed firmly to my chest.

My deepest thoughts have just manifested into my present, the morass no longer keeping the dark faculties at the bottom.

It’s close.

Underneath the cave, the heat pervades my whole environment, unraveling a bittersweet taste on my upper lip.

Funny how in moments like these you feel most alive. The art of struggle gives you a reason to fight.

Any minute now

I hope he won’t be back until the rain dance is over.

The more I keep this poisonous nimbus underneath, the better. It’s a thunderstorm of no-one’s interest.

I shall no longer inflict woes on anyone with my precipitation, especially him. But like every cloud, I was made; made by little particles aiming to evolve and create. But sometimes my neurones fire and start to dance.

Any minute now.

My body generates electricity of the highest order.

An electrical discharge tightens my muscles to test my level of endurance.

My consciousness is departing before my eyes. The sound of my heart has reached my throat. My limbs preparing to violently whisk the cloud.

This is who I am. This is how the inner monster stirs into life. My body ventures into its own path. I no longer have control.





The outer voice sounds clear and familiar. I open my eyes. He’s touching my head. A soothing caress discharging the storm. He smiles.

The cloud has passed.


by Paula Deckard (c) 2012

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