Five apples a day, going to the doctor’s anyway

Dreading tonight’s appointment, although I did feel a lot more worried last week than I do now. I’ve not been blogging much. My current aversion against my words is quite big, to an extent that I’d rather not share anything with anything that breathes.

My new phone failed to cheer me up, as I don’t seem to be able to get it active; it’s like resusciating a newborn.


No one knows that my favourite fruit is kaki and then comes apple (and honey melon). Today I had 2 kakis, 4 apples, 1 banana and a bowl of blueberries. Apparently blueberries are good to maintain a good memory. So I guess I’m gonna stop eating that shit. I’m possibly the last person on earth to ever get Alzeimer’s. I’d prefer Alzheimer’s to any other old person’s disease. If I had it now, I think I’d be a happy person. Why is Guy Pierce not portraying a happy person in Memento? At least he realises that by forgetting things he is keeping his quest alive – forever alive and there will be no end. I like that. You’re constantly driven by something, be it anger or revenge, at least it keeps you going. No time for sleep, you’re simply forced to keep your feet on solid ground and keep control of your life. Life. Easy.


I’ve started asking myself whether it matters if what you believe in is based on a lie or not. To those who are happy, it doesn’t matter obviously; they have no reason to read between the lines or question anything. From an absurdist’s point of view the only thing that matters is that you’re doing something no matter what. But additionally, if the significance plays a big role for you, too, then hmmm yeah, I feel overwhelmed, because I’m on the same boat as you. All these questions won’t piss off.


It’s all distraction anyway, distraction from your fear of lying in bed and staring at the ceiling for no reason.


The last apple was too sweet.


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