Green tea with Inuksuk

I’m sitting inside a nicer coffee shop than Starbucks. Large green tea.

My period is making me feel nauseated.

I figured that ski resorts aren’t really my cup of tea. I remember that it was July 1996 when I first visited Whistler. We travelled with an Asian group travels organizer. All we did was stop at certain popular places, take pictures, have Chinese dinners and stay at renowned hotels. Now I’m doing all that again, minus hotels, but plus extensive hiking and other in depth explorations.

However, not today. I didn’t dress warm enough to rent a bike. My muscles are tense from yesterday’s hike and climb.

The only conversation I’ve had here was with a girl working in a gemstone store. I had to pretend I was good in small talk. I still don’t understand how people can talk enthusiastically about things they don’t give a shit about. Anyway, she was from Calgary, well, her parents. I seem to hear and see Calgary a lot lately.

My arms are sore. I think that was my toughest climb, so far, well, hike. I ended up slipping a lot; I lost count on the number of trees that I hugged, so I wouldn’t fall. (Je risque de me blesser tres fort.)

I will save the mountain biking and rock climbing for next summer in the Rockies once the ski sessions are over.

The foggy hills remind me of Sun Peaks, except the cold here isn’t as bad.

I almost asked someone if there was a church nearby. But I guess I’m doing ok. I saw some falling leaves on the way here…

According to my horoscope I will have an opportunity to shine by taking on new responsibilities. Someone will tap me for a new project that has much potential.

In fact, I am not too sure why I came. Just sent a postcard illustrating the Inukshuk stone landmark, which I haven’t even seen; I’m such a cheater. Have I seen it in 1996? I don’t recall, I don’t even care!

Wake up, P.

Once again. One last time.

Why am I here?

There are several European flags hanging horizontally from the bike rentals’ building: Portugal, Spain, France, GB and Germany, except that the German flag is all tangled up and not blowing. I feel like my tongue is twisted and I can’t utter a word! All I’ve been doing is tye myself into knots. FUCK!

I don’t like my view from here anymore.

So why am I…

Ok, I can’t remember who said it, but apparently we’re here for the “little details”, things that appear trivial, but one day when looking back all these little details will have formed a ring of fire. Ah, yes, it was in The Crow when Eric said all the trivial things matter.

I look forward to visiting Bruce’s and Brandon’s gravesite. It will feel different than at Kafka’s I’m sure. Kafka didn’t save me in my dream.

My mind wonders…

Thinking about people, who think I’ve forgotten them. I tend to remember people by our conversations and their hesitations and their reactions to my misinterpretations, because I cannot express myself.

Another green tea.

They didn’t fill up the cup this time, maybe because I’ve been here for over an hour without tipping. I feel bad. The green tea isn’t really dispelling the sense of nausea today. Not here in fucking Whistler anyway.

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