Without a pen

So I got the journal on me here at Sunterra, however, I’ve got no pen, which sucks. It’s better writing to you in your absence, which is why I came here. I also didn’t want to disturb your sleep. Never seen you so exhausted.
Sipping at a very nice Chinese green tea and will do some shopping afterwards and get you something sweet to eat and a grande cup of latte.
There’s nothing to question about my kindness; there is no reason for it and I’m not expecting anything back either, I never did with anyone.
You were so happy to see me, and I was happy to see you, nevertheless, you were more there than I. You had more to say than I, too. I mainly heard nice sounds in my head that I couldn’t hum to you.
I’m no good at registering any moment, no matter if good or bad. Sometimes I don’t perceive until the next day, happened before that it took me a decade. Not too sure where my mind is most of the time, and I just can’t stop feeling guilty, guilty for a mind that keeps drifting away.
Now knowing my alter ego do you believe that she could’ve been saved? You think all that happened because she wouldn’t admit that she was in love? She spent too much time stroking her scars…
I didn’t notice today that we’ve been having one more hour of sunshine, since when is this? A shame that you fell asleep, maybe I should’ve dragged you out instead, but I guess that if I had done so, then I would’ve never written these words…
But you deserve to rest.
I just came here to hide my face. For a while. Just one of those moments, you know.
They’ll ask you how your holiday was. If I was in your position it’d be too much for me to take.
I’m glad, too, that I hopped on the plane and came back. Just simply because you had something to look forward to when coming back from your vacation. Don’t remember anyone being so happy to see me. It means a lot, makes me feel more ‘there’ and less see-through. It reminds me that I am walking on solid ground.
I’ve finished the tea, time to wake you up. We’ve got an hour left of sunshine.

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