When doves cry

When you say, “It’s happening”, it means a lot of things, mostly exciting things. Decisions have to be made for it to happen, though – and make those decisions before retrograde, which is taking place next week!

Of course making decisions isn’t easy if too many things are involved, such as financial or occupational sacrifices, etc. But by all means you need to stop doing what makes you unhappy! Sure, things get more difficult as you grow older. You cling on fears. Making decisions was way easier when you were in your early twenties, when you had the whole future ahead of you, such as another university degree to take. For me it was always studies over work. Stepping in a professional job market was one of my biggest fears. I almost had permanent rosacea from the stress and fear that it’d brought along. Anyhow, I would say I’m still very determined about my decisions. It’s more about timing these days. Just remember to take action when something doesn’t feel right.

So I decided that I want to leave Calgary and that’s what we’re going to do. The one way to make it official is to quite the job(!). There are two decisions in one here: Quit the job and move away.

Calgary has been a good home for me in the last few years, and I thought that it was the place to settle, but if you’re in a place where too much has happened and you’ve not been happy the for the last while I’ll know it’s time to move on.

It also took me a long time to decide when to publish my book, but it was partly my fault for not giving people that were involved a deadline, since I’m the only one that really priorities it. I obviously feel bad taking people’s time. I always have, especially if they don’t ask for anything in return. The book is still in progress, though, and I won’t have much time to promote or market it here in town. I don’t want worry about it too much. True, I have spent over ten years on it. I wouldn’t say I am a perfectionist; it’s not that I’ve spent this huge amount of time obsessing over it. If anything, it has been more of a learning process and overcoming my fear in getting it out there. There was a fear or sharing it with it people, but the feedback for redrafting purposes was essential. Generally being criticized and judged is scary, but if you see what kind of garbage is out there you gain a little bit of confidence. It’s not usually the story that makes your book good. What matters is how the story is being told. Secondly, it’s how you market it. Think I missed something out? I did not. Well, unless you already have a big name, then nothing matters.

I believe it’s all in the stars anyway. Some people were born at the right time at the right place. Talents are naturally born lucky. The others were probably born under the influence of Saturn and Saturn is all about working hard and practicing whatever it is you want to master in. The biggest lesson here is patience. Patience wouldn’t be a problem if we all wanted to become monks and nuns. I don’t think my parents knew about retrogrades when they planned my birth.

Prince’s “When Doves Cry” was number one in the charts when I was born. I never liked it at first. I wasn’t a Prince fan. Then I paid more attention to the lyrics and now I love it. I view it as a ‘Welcome to the World’-song. It tells me that nothing is perfect, but we will always aim towards perfection. And it’s natural that every human being wants to be fulfilled and loved. The way you were raised plays a huge role in who you are, too. And no one can change who you become, unless you decide so.

I’m a big time routine person when in the city with a 9-5 job that doesn’t challenge my personal skills. And all I do is follow a gym schedule that helps me distress and stay energized, while what I want is to spend more time reading and writing and not have any kind of schedule. I can only try and make that happen. And it’s happening!

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