The sun’s not out today. A shame, really, because I would’ve gone outside for a sweet smoke. One bad thing about being at home is that you can’t help sitting in front of the TV. Just because you own one, it wasn’t like that in England. I used to spend most of my time reading or writing in the library. There was just nothing else better to do. I was never bored; I didn’t even know what it meant to be bored. There was always something to do. I used to be busy all the time.
Well, today will be the day I’m going to stop taking those pills. Do you want to know the reason? Ha, it’s because they’re the cause of weight gain. You can’t put on weight when only eating two meals a day. I’ve already cut out on the snacks, so what else could it be that I don’t lose weight? Stress? I run regularly, which makes me feel good about myself, but it’s getting annoying. Still, running has become a habit. I can’t have more than two days without it.
Why am I listening to cheesy love songs… And why am I so close to crying because of them? I should be the messenger of love. I keep telling everyone that they will find the one, and I know they will. And most of them have already found that someone, which makes me smile. Still, I should quit listening to love songs because they make you feel lonely. What if the songs are lonely themselves? Do you think you and the song would make a good couple?
I was talking to my work colleague yesterday. I don’t think she likes me after all. Usually, she doesn’t talk to me much, but yesterday she was curious about me and asked whether I had a boyfriend. I think she was inquiring about me for somebody. I’m scared of things like this. Usually, I’d back off immediately. I said I would go back to England, and she went, “Oh no!” Well, why should she care?
Why am I singing “Shubidu uu…shubidu…?” Dreaming again, I suppose. Oh well, I like giggling like an anime girl. I’m not giggling now, but I know that there always is a reason to giggle. This is as optimistic as I can get. Maybe the love songs do help…them lonely love songs.
It feels weird. I feel like I’m in love with someone or something out there. Someone/something that I’ve never met, and I don’t even know of. I had the same feeling years ago, and it felt good. Just the fact that there is someone or something for all of us, even if you won’t meet them.