Rest

I’ve been avoiding phone calls, and still, people call me because they are worried about me. They think I might need someone to talk to and stuff. You people are wonderful, and I mean it. I’m not someone who needs to talk about things. I don’t feel better afterwards; I feel pathetic. This is why I think sympathy is bad. No one feels the way you do.

I tell one or two people at the most in writing. Even they register it in a way I don’t want them to – the rest is just blogging for myself. If you can relate, okay, but it won’t make sense to you.

Two of my friends are too good to be my friends, and it pisses me off. I can’t handle pure hearts. It’s because I know that I won’t be able to help them whenever they need me. They want you to help them stay validated. They lack the experience of falling on their faces. That is because they’re doing EVERYTHING to avoid disappointments. After all, they are scared. They can’t even watch violent movies. Remember that not everyone deserves your best.

Very often, people ask me how I write all these things on Facebook and Twitter. Once you’ve decided to be honest with yourself and everyone else, it just comes out like that. If you think too hard about something, it won’t work.

My attention span is low right now, so I put everything in just one or two sentence(s). That’s enough.

On a day like today (Sunday), where I can relax, I let my tiredness take over and succumb to a nap. Before I fall asleep, I start hearing hundreds of voices in my head, as if the dream is about to place me in a crowd. I don’t know where they come from or what they want, except for taking part in my dream exhibition. Still, I appreciate Sundays. Since my mind and body are so used to work, they are always prepared to “work.” When they realize that I’m not working but sitting and reading, my body decides for me that I’m tired. That way, I catch up on some sleep. Sometimes my body is good to me.

Two of my male friends I haven’t seen for a while said, “Oh my God, P-chan! You’ve lost bust!” Yeah, what a tragedy. Thanks.

I only want one thing right now: A hug, my arms around his neck and his arms around my waist. And feel his warm breath against my ear. That’s all. He has beautiful blue eyes, which I first mistook for brown, and a streak of grey hair.

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