I just got back from Killing Bono. I have lots on my mind, so I might as well stay up and write it down.
I took my clothes off and started grabbing the fat in my stomach, which made me look awful in my new dress. If only I knew what the hell happened. What’s the regular sweating session at the gym still good for?
I don’t tell anyone I’m on a diet, as fat needs no flattery. But I need to exercise to manage my stress and anger. Stress makes me scratch the hell out of my scalp. I wish you would ask me why I wear dresses and leggings so often, as my answer will be: my jeans don’t fit me.
I’ve been up since half six this morning, and it is now that I have to think about last night’s dream. I dreamed that Robbie Williams had a revelation while walking through the woods with a piece of note in his hand. And you know what? It was my revelation that he was holding, but he fucked off with it.
Therefore tonight’s dream will hopefully be Killing Robbie.
I’d appreciate it if you didn’t interpret this dream with Freudian or Jungian approaches.
Not many people realise it, but the night smells so much better and fresher than the air during the day. Therefore the irregular menthol smoke tastes great and comforting.
It’s chilly, and the cold tends to make me tired, so does the heat. I can’t find the balance, and neither can the world. That’s the only thing that makes me feel good about myself – knowing that something bigger than me and anyone else is not capable of control.
I’m noticing more and more cracks in my walls and on the ceiling. I’m pretty sure they weren’t there before. Or maybe it is now that I’m getting to know my room better. Something that was nothing to begin with, and then something familiar arises from it. It’s a scary idea.
Attachment always is.