First day

The first day at work – a lot of information given, therefore a lot to learn and to digest, but I am making the effort. I will tell you exactly why in a bit.
The people are very nice, helpful and always in a good mood. As usual, I am nervous, surrounded by a sense of intimidation on the first few days. I don’t quite know yet how each one of them ticks, how each one works and what’s required and expected from me. But a lot of you may know I am a team player; I just need time to make myself fit in. The work is sincere and you are being fully trained. There is a hell of a lot of detail that needs attention. But I’m sure it’s a rhythm/routine that I can get straight into after maybe two or three weeks. How I hate the beginning of things, I know that I need to get through this carefully. I am surrounded by left-brainers with limited rooms for a right brainer, which is one reason why I feel slightly left out. So I’ll have to poke my left side a bit to ask for a little help. This is my way to boost my self-reliance. The work consists of a lot of abbreviations, general knowledge (which I need to expand a lot more) and patience. I know what my friends think while reading this. Just keep your mouth shut, please.
I’m making my own decisions here, I know what’s good for me. Though, I am still careful; after what I’ve been through in the last 3 weeks (you know) I have to. I’m keeping my composure, despite exhaustion and nausea. I have to make sure to learn all the necessary information in order to fit in and I will. Things need to begin to settle, come into place and lift me up.
Hard work.
This is why I’m here.
In spite of the hard work, I overheard something when I was in the lift, coming back from my lunch break. The lift was packed and I could see one of my supervisors entering the lift with some other girls. I wanted to shout “hi”, but she didn’t see me, so I didn’t bother. One of the girls said:
“So you found someone for Germany?”
The supervisor then said, “Yeah, she was born in Germany…”
I was about to shout that I was right there.
But she continued: “But she isn’t good enough…”
That was that. I was supposed to get off with them on the 6th floor, but I waited until I arrived at the 7th floor, hiding my face behind all my starter’s pack notes.
A lot of questions arose in my mind. I knew that it had been difficult for them to find a suitable applicant – so what exactly made me pass the two interviews that I attended the other week? I proved that I can do percentage calculation, I knew where the Brandenburger Gate is and I introduced some common sense on a business-related level (I was quite fascinated about myself actually). So basically, what makes me not good enough? Maybe I’m not good enough because I answered that tricky question about the multiplying anemones wrong. It had required a greater depth of focus and thinking.
Anyway, I didn’t face the supervisor, because I know better. I prejudge people myself. All I can say is that she surely isn’t writing a novel. And she would never spend 8-10 hours writing a story.
However, it was the first time of me travelling through this horrible town during peak time in the morning. I nearly fainted on the tube, because it was so packed and stuffy. You have to plan to leave the house at least 90min before your work starts, in order not to panic about getting there late.
I keep telling everyone how much I hate this town. But you can imagine how hard-working New Yorker heart surgeons are.

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