It happens a lot that a moment vanishes within a blink. You don’t know if you can still capture it. It’s all going away as if nothing has ever been here in the first place.
“Seize the moment.” This phrase has you stumped each time. You spend too much time analysing it, wondering if you’re going to make another mistake. The next thing you realise is that the footsteps you were following have receded into a distance. You can no longer tell where you are and whether you’ve followed any steps at all. Do you either turn back or stand there, pretending not to be lost? Don’t hesitate to choose a direction because you’ve always been good at making decisions. You know you can’t have it all.
You have a choice. By all means, choose. You can go anywhere you want.
You could sleep for ten years, but as soon as you are underneath the covers, the horror of thought will consume your essence by turning you into a slave of the wake. You press your eyes shut so tightly; they begin to water. Monsters and noises are rain-dancing on top of your head like nightmares that came true. Your planet is getting closer, longing for your long lost company.
Nothing is quite as it seems because you never know the meaning of what you see or experience. They say it doesn’t matter; it just happens. It’s going to be a good day. So why analyse it any further?
But truth be told, you never cared.
You just had a list of questions where the answers didn’t add up to the truth.
Not even the greatest minds in history made it further than acceptance, so why would you?
They no longer questioned, and that’s the key to happiness. They knew it. The endless string of inquisitions was what made them miserable and despicable. They couldn’t help it. Everything comes with a question, one after the other. It’s hard living and not knowing.
While there are many things to which we know the answer, there are places where we’ve never been, like Saturn, where you wouldn’t survive with helium gas.
They say Saturn’s rings are particles of a former moon that smashed apart in a collision millions of years ago. But Cronos prevailed. Titan actually has an atmosphere with gravity so weak; you could strap a set of wings on your arms and fly. Cronos will lift you.
Only with heat like yours you will survive the cold.
They say Saturn’s stormy weather has an influence on Saturday’s children. So far away from the sun, what did you expect? Only the cool autumn air can tame your heart and brain, so tender, so homely. With Saturn’s low density, you will float on water. (However, where you are now, you will sink into the deepest abyss.)
If you listen to Titan and Saturn’s rings eerie sounds recorded by Nasa, you will realise they sound similar to the noises you hear as you wake up from an unnerving afternoon nap. It was not the unplugged television after all.
Your first year on Saturn.