Symington’s jelly

Maybe it’s a good thing if my body decides that excessive eye lubrication is obsolete. I no longer need it.

However, I can’t decide for sure if it’s a good thing or not. It’s either I’ve grown too strong, or the level of indifference is finally high enough to numb my emotions. Like they’re all gone.

The jelly has finally become solid.

While writing the novel, I sought more depth in a book called “The Pattern of Madness” by Symington to apply research material to define my protagonist. The center of our personality is a jelly with no particular form.

So if a person says that they are a mess, we know we all are. On the inside, we are a bunch of fragments with no order whatsoever to restore sanity.

You speak of control, but that’s not enough.

You need motivation.

A friend says that motivation is desire. Desire can be a lot of things: greed, attraction, envy, etc.

Can you prove to me that desire can be selfless?

You seek motivation to move forward.

Pip’s love for Estella motivated him to become a gentleman because he sought reciprocation. We know how it ended.

My protagonist’s life is based on a lie and yet motivated by her flaws. She wonders whether she will ever come to terms with her past.

This proves that you can use unrequited love as a tool. The excitement lies behind the idea of not knowing – there is only hope. But people will never understand what I mean by that – the art of not knowing, urged by the desire to find out.

The idea is, you shall not find out.

Anyway, back to the jelly: If you can’t speak for yourself, your jelly will remain gelatinous and vulnerable. Therefore, your job is to work upon hardening and shaping it. There is nothing more to personality.

Let’s take greed as an example. When driven by greed, you will notice how it rouses you into (selfish) actions. Still, the jelly starts to take shape, making you a person with a personality, but not so quick. This is just a part of the whole thing, as we are fall prey to the narcissistic condition. The jelly needs to have a desire, and if you take greed, you will see that we always “want” something.

It’s not a bad thing unless what we are–who we are is a bad thing.

I am not too sure about her jelly in the end.

It’s time to check.

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