Do you want to know a secret?
When I was younger, I used to look upon a model and actress. And I just realised that I still do. I thought she was the most beautiful (half) Asian woman ever. Her name is Michelle Reis. (I only just found out her name.) She was Miss Hong Kong in 1988 at the age of 18. I learned about her in the early nineties because she starred in some Hong Kong movies and dated Leon Lai–a pop star and actor.
My parents used to have calendars imported from Hong Kong. There was a large picture of her. I remember wanting to look like her or be half-Asian. Or 25% Asian like Bruce Lee.
Anyway, from then on, whenever I went through my short stories in my head or dreamed of a crush, I imagined myself as her. I’d be kissing the man of my life or something. I’ve been doing that since I was ten or eleven. I was very curious and mesmerized by the idea of love. And yes, I still am.
However, I had to find out her name to make sure she’s a real person. She is someone that I am not.
Yes, I probably lacked confidence back then.