Parallel play

Life’s quest feels most meaningful when you are creating something from nothing. It gets all the more exciting and challenging when it is a story prompt from a fellow writer friend. While it was initially supposed to be a 5,000-word story, I ended up tripling it, and it became a year-long project. More words should have been produced during that timeline, but it’s no news that I’m one of the slowest writers who has ever existed. Had I put more effort into that story earlier, I could’ve finished it in less than a year.

Could have.

This means that the plot might have taken a different turn. The main goal was to write like my buddy while maintaining my own voice. The feedback received was that, despite all the influences, creativity, and attempts to write like him, my story was unique and wholly my own. And that feels good.

So even though it takes me a long time to produce something of value, I have a purpose for writing.

I’ve never been much of a perfectionist. After ten years of work on the first novel, it was still shit. And while the second novel (novella) came to me naturally, I seriously needed to improve the overall language—an ambitious writer who isn’t ready needs to take a step back. As of now, I’m not planning to go anywhere with The Fat of the Land, which is the size of a novelette. At least I don’t intend to publish it until I have received enough feedback from close ones and implemented it. Not many people have reached out with interest, so I suppose I need to do some cold calling. Most people do the same to me, also asking for a cherry on top (the review). However, it’s nowhere near publishable yet.

Meanwhile, I need to revise the short stories I wrote between 2005 and 2021. The hope is that they won’t be as challenging as I anticipate.

The idea is to release two short story collections at once—one feminine and one masculine. So far, my masculine side has overshadowed my feminine side. I’m unsure if I can do anything about it. Perhaps I can find a balance. Weirdly enough, I find it easier slipping into a man’s head when I write. But then again, I’ve always written from both perspectives. Successfully. Only recently have I found the female perspective annoying and hard to connect with. The only connection I see is with my unfinished book, Passing Crushes—the semi-autobiography, which I decided will be a young adult book. I lied, the first draft is, in fact, finished, but it’s not publishable, like most of my writing. We’ll see what that draft gets revised, just like The Fat of the Land and the rest of the short stories.

Random moments of discovery are the best. Like rediscovering the song “Lucky” by Radiohead at the end of Six Feet Under’s episode “Parallel Play”—a powerful song during a powerful scene. It’s usually a specific song that inspires me to keep going. It ignites the fire from within that wants to express this special something. It paints the human condition with a more bearable shade of red, and you feel inspired to write with that voice that is still alive.

In many ways, writing is a form of parallel play, as you observe the other writer in their writing, and you learn from them through their writing. You can always go back to solitary play without inviting anyone in until you’re ready.