When you feel nothing major, you feel no motivation to learn or create. You don’t even have the energy to reply to friends. It’s hard to say what happens to you when you get older. It’s not wisdom that comes with age; it’s apathy. Like from hereon, the heart dies faster than you had first anticipated it at 23 or 28. Mid-life crisis? Maybe, but it’s more about coming to terms with regrets by telling yourself these aren’t regrets but a learning curve. However, you’ve reached an age where learning curves just won’t cut it anymore. Shouldn’t you know better and not commit further errors in life? Or at least be more cautious about the decisions you make? Next, you try to diagnose yourself with ADHD, depression, burnout, and so on, to blame a condition for your lack of enthusiasm for anything. Then, it’s trying to get the meds for these conditions to see if they make a difference. If anything, these conditions should’ve been diagnosed and treated a long time ago.
If your pursuit has been love, then you’re a fool. It doesn’t help if your childhood was all about hopes and dreams, and despite setting goals to make loved ones happy, you chose the selfish route, thinking that love would fix all the problems in the world—impulsive decision-making. But each time it just makes things worse. People are never who you think they are, and it’s not until the actual bonding phase that you realise this is not going to work, but you’re no longer in your 20s and leaving could potentially cause an avalanche. Either that or you’re a coward. Fool or coward. Blame what you think is love. People never ever feel the same as you do.
