Ellen, oh, Ellen

(Letter to Ellen)

“Ellen, oh Ellen,

I wonder why on earth am I worthy of drinking with the skeletons in your closet.

Did I say skeletons? I’m sorry, there is just one – a bad one, and he has almost consumed all my beer in the fridge. You can say he is a demonic fellow, but it’s not me he wants to talk to. So how about, my dear Ellen, trap him? He knows something about you, and he knows that you are dying to find out, but you lack the courage to let him in. Or maybe he is already there, but you have no interest in paying any attention. Why, dear Ellen?

I lied again; there are actually two skeletons. And you have to invite both in. I don’t know who you let inside your apartment, but you have serious things to talk about. Believe me, you are strong enough to win this fight. You women have always been stronger. You whip us, men, with unimaginable words.

I do resent you for passing on this demon detector, but I am grateful for your trust even though you talk to me like I am an academic, and I’m not.

Ellen, oh Ellen, I take no advantage of having my eyes open, but sometimes you have to be clear about other people’s intentions. One skeleton has horns and will destroy you if you don’t open your eyes and fight. The other one with wings has his arms wide open for you, and you refuse to accept it.

You have the most exciting threesome, my lady. I felt flattered about your hidden message, but I am no saviour; I don’t even want to save me.

Please don’t lose your grip, as I have. A woman should never do worse than I.

Don’t let your spirit leave your body when you’re in love.

The pain will be over soon.


With all my love,

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