Songs of the universe

My sleep hyperhidrosis comes from my three daily large cups of Tetley’s tea (5 years ago, it used to be 7). All I had today was herbal tea and hot water. We’ll see whether I’ll go through another sweating session tonight.

I was tired during midday, and now a light headache seems to come and go. I usually deal well with caffeine withdrawal, but I’ve always wondered what I’d be like on drugs. I don’t miss the antidepressants, but each Wednesday, I seem to miss my valerian drops. I haven’t been taking those since I quit my last retail job. They do nothing but numb my distress for a few hours, and I find it somewhat easier to breathe.

I don’t understand why my Facebook doesn’t have a “random play” box for me to tick, which is not fair. Don’t you get lonely when listening to Amanda’s First orgasm? It’s always the same scenario: have a crush on someone, get hopes up while not knowing whether they are taken—the story of my life. There are moments where I would risk anything and let my feelings go out of control. And I still won’t let them know how I feel. I’m good at that.

Then I would listen to Bug eyes and remember the nights I used to dance and headbang until five in the morning and wake up in the late afternoon with a sore neck. I envy all of you who are going out to have fun. And I still say no when you ask me whether I want to join. The reason is I don’t want to see you drink anymore. I’m jealous of your fun times of which I can’t be part. I can’t relate to what you feel when drunk.

What do you think of this girl? – A hateful, spiteful little beast swimming in pessimism; her muscles are solidifying. She hasn’t had a second chance yet.

If only Arthur and Atman left her alone; they laugh at her while the original version of Hurt is playing.

Bored of all these people telling you what’s good or bad for you when you’re unable to express yourself.

Why can’t I wear a ring that I just found?

Why shouldn’t I eat a banana before bed?

Why shouldn’t I stare at stars?

Do I look like I want to google all that? The worst are the phenomena of healthy eating. After Harvey and Marilyn Diamond, I have decided to go my own way.

I feel disenchanted here, and I’m surprised because my theories were wrong. The song Wrong makes me pay attention to this unhealthy silence, and this heinous YAWP gives me satisfaction. The song Home, on the other hand, puts me back in a straight line.

I’m waiting for my fairy godfather to hold my hand so I can walk confidently.


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