VALIS

From nothing, you can become everything.

If you look at where we are now, we are about to become everything, and some forces out there won’t like it.

This might sound like sci-fi, but I believe in it, for I’m in a state where I can’t think clearly or speak anything of significance, not to mention create anything coherent.

My creative mind is gone. I hope it’s only temporary, as otherwise there won’t be much of me left.

Like last year, the start of New Year always leaves a bad taste in my mouth and makes me nauseous. In the last two days, the only creature I spoke to was a dazed ladybird crawling on my Philip K. Dick book. Everybody has had a ladybird on their finger, right? And as you may know, they tend to take off on the tip of your finger. When the ladybird reached the edge of my VALIS book, it spread its wings and tried, but it fell on the table.

It broke my heart.

I felt guilty to say that I’d accidentally stepped on some of its siblings. So I don’t know what his quest may be. But his lover is still in the corner of my ceiling. Probably dead.

I don’t know whether I should show him the way. If he believes there is still a reason to fly or crawl, he will do it.

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