Some things will never change. You will see them again like reruns. The only difference is the wallpaper. What’s worse is that you won’t ever change, neither will the new things that you encounter.
The realisation of this sucks, as it makes you think too far ahead.
Plus, your mother wants you to think about tomorrow sooner than you’ve anticipated. It’s a demoralising thought that often hinders you from living in the moment. Moreover, it makes you want to consume drugs or something. You need a distraction.
Your alternate world, the fictional world, currently has no spot for escape because there’s no story with an interesting plot or dialogue.
Reruns are ok; that’s what postmodernism is all about, except you try to make it special. However, it’s not easy to keep it fresh, and there’s no guarantee that your originality is going to grab anyone’s attention. You wish to cause a tickle in their no-no spot.
What would you be without fiction, without an alter ego that represents your secret superego? This character may carry all your flaws and good qualities and material longings, which you don’t have. Can you keep track of who you really are and who you won’t ever be?
Now you have the opportunity to make things better. There’s no point in trying. You just do it and forget that you’re playing a rerun. You can’t change anything except the wallpaper’s design and your own personal theme song that runs in the background.
I’m just better at choosing songs.
