Beautiful moments never last for long, and you know it. Once it’s over, you light a cigarette. At least you know when it’s over. A cigarette prepares you for the worst of the day and another one when you’re through. That’s how life is at the moment.
You go dancing, but it’s not the same anymore. People’s taste in music has changed. They rarely play your favourite songs these days. So what’s left? Your room and your computer, so you can do whatever you want and listen to what you want. You don’t sign in to chat with people because you don’t feel like it. Some resent you for doing that. Your mobile phone’s off and another one is unplugged.
You need to learn to be strong, tough and stress-resistant. You think it’s a good way to learn and grow by getting in trouble, but in the end, the situation turns out worse than the trouble itself. At least you’re not the only one who thinks the older you get, the more frightened you become. You felt this way before as a child. The same kind of fear creeps up again to haunt you. That’s the moment where you want to shoot yourself in the face.