It’s 5:36 a.m.; I’ve been trying to fall asleep for an hour. My mind is loud. I can’t shut it up. I’ve been racking my brains over excuses to justify myself. Obviously, they are no excuses. How you feel should never be an excuse. I hate it when people expect me to “explain” certain things to them because I have this obscure way of depicting and describing things and events. Some find it hard to follow me when I talk. This is why I prefer to write. I might lack communication skills and vocabulary, but I like complicating my sentences. I have a peculiar structure, yes.
My alarm clock is showing at 6:09 a.m. My alarm clock is set about forty minutes ahead. I don’t know why anymore. All I know is that according to the Chinese calendar, I was born on June 9th. Again, 6 and 9. 69 is the symbol of the star sign Cancer. 6 symbolizes the sixth day of the week, where I was born; therefore, I carry the sixth planet on my back. And 9 is my life path number. Searching for meaning is irritating. But I can’t help it. I can’t stop looking.
It’s bright outside, but I can’t see the moon. The main road is already busy at this time. My mind seems to be racing with the cars. Maybe I can’t sleep because I’m scared of wandering ghosts, and therefore, I keep my mind busy with other things? My stomach is rumbling now, demanding breakfast. Raw seagull made me puke. This reminds me of something…
I went for a walk the day before my birthday. I went to the playground and spent one hour there, sitting on the swing. Suddenly I a noise in the bushes startled me. It continued for minutes, and gradually, it began to scare me. I investigated anyway and approached the bushes, expecting something like a bird. Then, I saw a sharp muzzle. It wasn’t a badger, it was a hedgehog. He looked at me and didn’t make a move. I started talking to him like I would to my dog. But he still wouldn’t move, even when I came closer. After crying my heart out, I left him in peace.
Two days later, I was on my way to the driving school for my driving test. While waiting at the bus stop, I saw a dead hedgehog on the street. I failed the driving test within the first three minutes.
Now, will you stop asking me what is wrong?