This is a psychology test that I did in 2002. Those who went to school with me at Wardle High in Rochdale may remember the English lessons with the fabulous Miss C.
I found this sheet of paper earlier while browsing through and re-reading my dreamy yearnings for an unforgettable first love encounter. I wrote over a thousand hand-written pages from 1994-2002 – why can’t I be like that now?
While reconnecting with my former self, I remember how I had felt back then, the associated risk of losing my mental balance. Now all that is emerging to the surface again, smiling. I remember how that identity crisis had led me to immerse myself in writing like there was nothing better to do as a child. My feelings haven’t changed.
The psychology test is the last piece of evidence that I have, reflecting traces of innocence and purity, whatever you want to call it. Show me something from today that isn’t tainted, and I will let the truth go.
Do the test, too, if you like.
The symbolic meanings are at the bottom.
1) Imagine you’re standing on a path. Visualise it as clearly as possible.
The path is narrow and looks endless.
2) Visualise the trees.
The pine trees are all grey, covered in the fog.
3) You suddenly see a bear after entering the woods. What do you do?
It’s a brown bear. He’s looking deeply into my eyes, and then it turns away.
4) You see a house. Describe the outside appearance of the house.
It’s a log cabin–old and looks vacant.
5) You go inside and enter a room, describe it.
There’s an unmade bed, a desk with sheets of paper, pens, CDs, but no CD player. Windows are stuck; you can’t shut them properly.
6) Go to the back of the house. You look out of the window and see the water. Describe the water.
It’s clean mountain water.
7) You step outside. There is a wall on your right. Describe the wall.
It’s a brick wall. Some vehicle has crashed into it before.
8) Climb up the ladder. What is behind the wall?
The path continues.
1) The PATH is your future.
2) The TREES are your friends.
3) The BEAR symbolises the way you deal with problems.
4) The OUTSIDE describes what you are really like.
5) The INSIDE is the image of yourself.
6) The WATER symbolises your sex life.
7) The WALL is death.
8) Beyond the WALL is your life after death.