When she speaks with her damaged voice, I can feel the agony that’s eating her up on the inside. I can’t imagine how much despair and sorrow must have accumulated in her heart. How much else can she take?
And I can’t change or comfort her. I watch her like a useless child.
I only snapped at her once during my stay, and I instantly regretted it. But it was just that once because of my cabin fever.
It sucks watching people who suffer from stress; it’s like a chronic disease. Stress factors deteriorate your body’s functions – sometimes gradually, sometimes quickly. It weakens your immune system and may start with skin conditions, hair loss, rapid ageing, sensitive kidney or inner suffocation. I’ve seen and experienced those.
In the following stage, you will push everyone away. You feel a strong negative force hiding in your cave, planning to inflict pain on others. But I wish it would inflict its pain on itself. These stress factors are testing your endurance level. You must not fail.
To tackle the anxieties, people consume depressants such as alcohol or drugs. This makes me believe that the world’s intrinsic journey is based on finding oblivion. And while dwelling in remembrance or nostalgia, you deliberately lie to yourself. You don’t want to face it, so you numb your pain.
Who am I after discovering the art of telling lies?
This is just another extension of the line on which my guilty conscience balances.
How do you treat a person’s thinning hairline effectively? Reach out for drugs, maybe. Therapy. Make-believe solutions. To sustain the balance of health is no longer crucial to those who rack their brains over jobs and money.
How do you encourage a person to believe in something that you don’t give a shit about?
Why is it so hard to comfort people? Why is it so hard to be a friend?
You’ve been through the same thing. You lost your innocence, been through cleansing, and now you’ve started your life over.
Maybe it’s the reminders that make you go numb – a sudden recap on all those things that had gone wrong in the past.
What have I lost on memory lane?
This must be where lucid perception fucks up.
Though I like being surrounded by perceptive people. I wasn’t as perceptive as I had thought.
Whatever you find, it’s never what you had in mind. You are then unprepared for what is yet to come, uncertain how your life will continue or how you want it to continue.
I couldn’t give a damn about faith, but I will give it a try.