I was dreading tonight’s appointment, although I did feel a lot more worried last week than now. I’ve not been blogging much. I don’t like my writing, to the extent that I’d rather not share anything anymore.
I’m annoyed I can’t activate my new phone. It’s like resuscitating a newborn.
No one knows that my favourite fruit is kaki (persimmon if you like) and then apple (and honey melon).
Today I had two kakis, four apples, one banana and a bowl of blueberries. Blueberries are good to maintain a healthy memory, apparently. I should stop eating that crap. I’m possibly the last person on earth to ever get Alzheimer’s. I’d prefer Alzheimer’s to any other old person’s disease. If I had it now, I think I’d be a happy person.
Why is Guy Pierce not portraying a happy person in Memento? At least he realises that by forgetting things, he is keeping his quest alive – forever alive, and there will be no end. I like that. You’re constantly driven by something, anger or revenge. It keeps you going. No time for sleep; you’re forced to keep your feet on solid ground and keep control of your life.
Does it matter if what you believe in is based on a lie? To those who are happy, it doesn’t matter obviously; they have no reason to read between the lines or question anything. From an absurdist’s point of view, the only thing that matters is that you’re doing something no matter what. But additionally, if the meaning plays a huge role for you, then hmmm, yeah, I feel overwhelmed because I’m on the same boat as you. All these questions won’t go away.
It’s all distraction anyway, a distraction from your fear of lying in bed and staring at the ceiling for no reason.
The last apple was too sweet.