No I, no you

Feeling elevated and somewhat strong and maybe a little bit manic, but remarkably optimistic, despite the high level of exhaustion. My head is more active than usual. Ironic because I can’t seem to construct a decent spoken sentence.

How sad it was to cry after seeing someone again after so many months. I don’t know what it was, but it felt good because I recollected my actual strengths and ambitions. So it was a cry of joy. I’m sure.

Yet, people are scared of other’s people’s depth, which I understand. I would prefer them to back off instead of plunging into delirium with me. There’s no need for them to take note of this, though. You ask them to keep your head over water, don’t ask for more.

There is no need to make sense of it either, as long as they know. Please don’t speak of it. Ever. It was my mistake, to begin with.

I forgot that a feeling could not be mutual; I forgot because the beauty of illusion makes you forget many things. I’m sorry.

In last night’s dream, I was dancing with someone. I don’t know who he was, but I didn’t like how he was touching my back – in a way as if he was looking to steal my weapon – the weapon I use whenever I’m in danger.

Well, it could have been sheer paranoia or merely a sign of trust issues. I don’t have trust issues, and in my defense, I don’t know who he was.

And then the walls began to fall apart. I think there was an earthquake.

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