It’s like descending from a mammal to an arthropod. There is not much of an epiphany here, neither are there any pivotal revelations, apart from legs. Do you need that many legs to walk as one single being?
I might be descending, but for a good reason, such as intending to recollect my will and strength for tomorrow. I figured that there is no saviour; there is only me. And for the first time, I asked myself why it has never occurred to me that one of the essential concepts of raison d’être is to let go and fall? What is modesty anyway if nobody cares because no one knows anything about you?
When hanging out with friends, I often feel alone because I don’t know any of them. They drag me into scenes that don’t really suit me, and still, I try to fit in. It’s like back in school sometimes.
And the next day, they have all disappeared.
If you know too much about someone, you might lose interest. What matters is not what you know but whether you understand.
I wonder if feelings have an expiry date. Is that what oxytocins are all about? I think so. I always know when they kick in.
I might have put too much emphasis on the stars, and therefore, became a victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or maybe not–because everything ended for the better.
They accuse me of many things. But I have my reasons for hiding in fiction. Within fiction, I find hints and lessons that help me live, live with more hope and optimism, as I refuse to blow myself away too soon. Plus, there is more truth in it than what you can offer me.
Earlier, there was a star flickering white and blue above my former university. Then it disappeared behind the clouds…along with the three horses I’m giving up on.
