In a way, that’s not me, but moreover, if I don’t give it a try, I will never be anywhere close to who I am. Somewhere in a Bryan Adams song, he says, “Try everything twice,” and so I will.
I have no room to accommodate sleep lately, which is not too bad. It gives me more time to implement my life projects and rebuild an internal relationship with my music. My plans are coming along slowly, but I need to make use of my productivity while still here. It helps control my impatience.
I didn’t realise that one way to have fun in an environment that doesn’t fully comply with your likes and tastes, it’s to let your open-mindedness take the lead and let yourself go. Uptight and shy as I was.
Despite all the insincerity that one encounters in life, I suppose the only important thing is to be aware of it, but whether you want to change it is a different story. Some people are like that for a reason. And I wish I could have someone explain it to me. There is more to understand than what I already do understand.
I’ve begun viewing the whole concept of insecurity within a person with the eye of someone who needs to be extra careful. The 21st century’s mind is so misted up that it can’t distinguish the heart from the head because it always succumbs to the lower brain, where sexual attraction dominates all morals and principles. So you forget what is wrong or right.
Like Dorian, I’ve begun to embrace the concept of pleasure a little bit more. I might as well, like Johnny, when he gave up on his shyness as a teenager. I thought I had done the same, but I never have. However, the awareness has done its job, and therefore, perception has once again surpassed the concept of truth.
I think I finally got the hang of it—some things you should never reveal to anyone. People wouldn’t reveal them to you either.
I’ve never craved so much fun as I do now. I kind of regret not having spent enough time with my former cliques, but ok, I was very, VERY preoccupied with myself and the world and my acceptance issues. But I do not regret the written accomplishment that resulted from that. So I did have my preferences, and you can’t dedicate your time to more than one thing. I used to be obsessed with a shadow that once sheltered me. And now it’s telling me to live.
When I woke up the other morning, I realised that I could not afford to miss out on anything anymore. As an adult, I should be able to multitask. More importantly, I need to see myself reflected in other people’s eyes. And I want to.
I was looking to build a serious relationship with the world throughout my life, yet life was never sure about me.
Now I want to coalesce, no matter whether it’s merely sexual attraction or not.
